Congratulations

I've won a few awards in my life. I credit most of them to my amazing teammates, whether it was my group at the studio growing up (2nd in the nation what,what), or my ODT sisters in high school. Not many of them were solo awards...although my Miss High Kick plaque is still proudly displayed on my bookshelf. Wonder when I'll put that away. Anyway, there is one award that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would win against most Americans...Worst Immune System. Of all time. I'm surprised I haven't blogged about this sneezy subject before. I picked today to do so because I'm currently laying on my mom's couch, watching an episode of J and K+8 that I have seen 18 times but tivo'd anyway, surrounded by the following items:

1. Puff's Plus. Number one reason why I like being at my mom's when I'm sick. She buys the good tissues. I can go through a half box on any given day, but when I'm sick, it's more cost effective to buy the 6 pack.

2. Vick's Vapor Rub. Let me make it clear that I don't necessarily believe in Vick's. I don't understand the mechanics of it, and don't swear by it like one of my ex-boyfriends who I shall not name who would put it on his feet anytime he had a cough. Weird. But my step dad happened to have some in his medicine cabinet so I figured it couldn't hurt.

3. Chloraseptic. Worst part about being sick. It's necessary because of the numbing and all that jazz, but I'd rather eat escargot then spray that shit down my throat. Who invented Chloroseptic? Here's a bright idea....how bout a FLAVORLESS Chloroseptic? That'd be good.

4. Tylenol. The only thing that's keeping me alive. When they Tylenol wears off, my fever goes back up to 101 or 102 and I wake up in a pool of sweat. Disgusting.

My point is that I am sick A LOT. Very very frequently. I'm not sure why this is. It could be that I don't take vitamins. I know that I should. I even bought some Women's Daily a few months ago but haven't even opened the seal. I get a sore throat about once every 6 weeks. I have stomach problems at least once every two months. I have allergies every single day of my life. What am I going to do when I have children? Stay away from them for 4 whole days while I'm on my deathbed?