98 and 6 Degrees of Separation

The Starbucks on San Pedro has a coffee themed Hitler. She goes around to employees yelling, "DON'T PUT MILK ON TOP OF THE ESPRESSO MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!" But then says to me "Here ya go baby" when she hands me my coffee. Hypocritical hypogriff....shout out to Harry P. I don't see how anyone surrounded by that much espresso can possibly be grumpy. I'd be passing out 20s. Wonder if they're hiring.

Today my spanish teacher, Mr. Watkins, who is in his 70's and who I love desperately, said to me..."It's a joy having you in my class mija." 35 other students witnessed my heart melt.

Am I the only one in America who felt like I was being punked when Norman Gentle went through to the top 12? What WHAT?

4 Minute Blog

I am on day 2 of my new endeavor: 30-minute-yoga.
Day one, I rolled around awkwardly and at one point even keeled over onto the hardwood. Pool of sweat. It wasn't pretty. After dancing and even being halfway successful enough at that to get the opportunity to actually teach dance, I'd like to think that I have extremely superior balancing skills. But when it comes to yoga, it's a whole other ball game. I have a new found respect for Madonna. Okay not really.

Today actually went MUCH better. I even began to breathe in good intervals. I'll keep you updated.

Contraception

I got into two fights on Sunday.
Both with children under 10.

Both at a well known restaurant that I will not publicly name.

Child #1: As I walked up to get a refill of sweet tea, I see a thin string flying across the walkway in a motion much like that of a yo-yo. But this was not a yo-yo. Oh no. It was the most repulsive item that you can think of. It was a sticky hand. You know you remember them. Neon bright colors, disgusting, long, sticky hand that sticks to everything. My little brother thrived on annoying me with these things (along with lizards and rubber band guns that my mom bought at craft shows...but that's a whole other blog)...he would throw them at me and they'd get stuck in my hair or whatever. Disgusting. They pick up every piece of dirt and grime in a 25 foot radius. I want to make it very clear that I never played with things like this. Never sticky hands, never anything that made a mess, never Creepy Crawlers or anything like that.

I believed in two things: baby dolls and Barbies.

So the child that was responsible for the throwing of the sticky hand IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WALKWAY was a girl. This immediately made me dislike her. But the fact that myself and the woman behind me couldn't get past her without getting bitch slapped in the face by a bacteria covered gummy whip made me dislike her even more. She didn't even see us. She had no idea that we were dodging her weapon so rapidly that it appeared we were playing a sloppy version of Dance Dance Revolution. The brave woman behind me took her hoodie, covered her head, and made a run for it while muttering "she's gonna hit me...she's gonna hit me...". I couldn't take it. I shouted the 15 feet to her mother who was oblivious to the attack "HELLOOOO...EXCUSE ME...IS THIS YOUR KID??...SHE'S HITTING US WITH HER STICKY HAND!!!!!". I was so pissed. Since when is this behavior acceptable? I don't blame the kid. I blame her parents. On second thought, I can't even discuss this any further. I just won't be traveling that far down Bandera anymore.

Child #2: We'll make this short and sweet in order to not conjure up any sore memories in my tired head. Before we left, we had to try our hand at Stacker. Those of you who don't know Stacker, he is the machine that is responsible for stealing 10% of our monthly income. He just looks sooo beat-able. One day I will win that ipod nano....after spending $856 dollars in failed attempts. So halfway through my second unsuccessful game....the child who has had her nose pressed up against the glass of MY stacker starts PUSHING A BUTTON!!! Whatt?? WHAT? She honestly pushed the "Select Your Prize" button WHILE I was playing. I look at it as her grabbing my wallet from my over sized bag and taking a dollar out. I was in shock of course. I said, "Hey!! NO NO!" She ran out to her mother and told on me. tattle tail. We decided it was time to leave.

Forgive Me

I am assuming you are all furious with me. Lo siento for the long period of absentee blogging. Life is cruel and has taken us in some twisted places the last week. Let's talk randomness.

• Today I watched one hours worth of Real World. I then realized that I am now a half degree stupider than before.
• The rodeo last Friday equalled complete GHETTOness. I honestly thought at one point that my life was in jeopardy. Note to self: Avoid dollar night at all costs.
• I began wearing eyeliner regularly a couple days ago. The results have been fanatical. It works wonders.

-T

306 Diaries

Today I spent a total of 2 hours on the road. All 2 hours were spent on FM 306, which is the only major street in my world nowadays. On it you can find a plethora of great places...

Lakeview Cafe (where us and a cowboy enjoying his steak by himself were the only ones dining at tonight....mmmmm, patty melt on rye), 4 gas stations across a 50 minute driving span, the steak finger place, Kristie's Boutique, and the aforementioned "306 Roadhouse"...oh memories....

Today's destination was my sister's Rhodesian Ridgeback Bentley's vet's office which is about 30 minutes down 306. I dropped him off at 8, drove back, then picked him up at 3 and drove back. He had surgery =( *Side Note* Today I noticed another veterinarian just 5 minutes away from the house. Pretty convenient. I almost started wondering why she would choose a vet so far, but then remembered that knowing my sister, I'm sure researched every vet in the county, then went through Dr. Sebby's credentials with a fine tooth comb, probably even making sure he got A's in 9th grade biology. *End Side Note*

I enjoyed this outing for the following reasons:

-First, I like to get out of the house. Being here for hours on end only leads to too much Jon and Kate Plus 8, which leads to me essentially becoming part of their family for the day. I know they would love me if they knew me.

-Second, KJ97 had the best song choices possible on today. I found myself lost in Fool Hearted Memory, Ocean Front Property, and Lead On. HEAVEN!! I have strayed a little from my country routes lately...I blame this on Rascal Flatts, Bucky Covington, etc....but these 2 hours brought me "strait" back to the basics. Nothing beats it. Oh how I love him.

On the final leg of the trip, I was behind a Mazda MPV van, circa 1986 (which we had when I was 4 by the way...in white) stuffed with about 18 people. I didn't even notice this until a little hand kept creeping up from the back and waving at me. I waved back to the kid, you know being polite. He probably thought I was talking to him since I was singing pretty loudly with GS at this point. Then all of a sudden I see Spongebob pop into the window. A HUGE Spongebob poster. The poster is dancing, swaying back and forth. This was distracting. I almost resented the child for distracting me, and I resented his parents even more for not having their kid buckled up. I wrote down the license plate. I'm not sure why. I have always hated Spongebob.

Chain Reaction

This blog will be for advertising purposes only for two reasons.

1. I am using my Sidekick and my thumbs aren't up for too much cardio with it being a Monday and all.

2. I'm in class.

Hell has frozen over. My sister has started a blog.

Bentleymiles.blogspot.com

That is all for now.